The ressemblance of a man and a cup of coffee? ..... They both get on the nerve.
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Why do have so many men a beer gut? ..... Than at least an unemployed dwarf has a roof over his head.
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What happens when a man is in the water up till his navel ? ...... That is beyond his comprehension.
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Why are men like snails? ..... They have horns, they slobber and they trudge along, and above all, they think the house is theirs.
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Why can a man not be handsome and intelligent at the same time? .... Because he would be a woman then.
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When do you know you are overweight? .... When you are sunbathing on the beach and a Greenpeace-activist tries to roll you back into the sea.
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It has 50 teeth and it holds back or stops a terrible monster? ................... My fly!
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How is an intelligent woman called? ....................... A transvestite
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Why does beer contain female hormones ? ... When you drink too much of it, you cannot say anything sensible any more, you start to nag and you are no longer able to drive a car.
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Why is a false eye made of glass?.....To look through.
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Why did the statue of liberty have to be a woman? The head had to be hollow to make a restaurant in it!
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when is a man worth some money??................When he pushes a trolley
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hy are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have a phone!
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When you strangle a smurf, what colour does he get?
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How do you know when you run out of invisible ink?
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Why do fortune-tellers first ask your name?
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What is the velocity of the darkness ?
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When a schizophrenic threatens to commit suicide are we talking of hostageship?
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What happens when you got scared twice half-dead ?
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If a pen is mightier than a sword and a photo more powerful than a thousand words, how dangerous –can a fax be ?
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If all the boys lived on the other side of the sea, what a good swimmer I would be ?
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Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.
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How do frogs die? They Ker-mit suicide.
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Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
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Everything in life is relative, ask Einstein.
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no men no women no women no love no love no sex no sex no children no children no school no school no homework no homework no problems!
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The more you study. Tthe more you know. The more you know. The more you forget. The more you forget. The less you know. So why study?
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The jogger who overslept found himself running late.
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Nok nok.Who's there?....Marie!....Marie who?.....Mariewhowanna....!!
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Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
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Who invented milking cows and what did he think when he started doing it ?
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What whish would stars make when they saw falling people.
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What does a butterfly feel when he is in love?
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What do sheep count when they want to sleep ?
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What do the military do in a civil war ?
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why are there life jackets in airplanes and no parachutes ?
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Why are you behind a computer, while in fact you are sitting in front of the screen ?
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Why do we call apartements apartements when they are all connected to one another ?
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Why do you always find one shoelon the streets ?
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Why does an answering machine never gives an answer when I ask something ?
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Why does a kamikaze wear a helmet ?
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Where are the first 6 up's ?
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What do you prefer in the hereafter?...........Smoking or non-smoking area.
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Does a liar lies when he says he says he is telling a lie ?
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Do they have a coffee break at the tea factory ?
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How do you call a woman who looses 90% of her intelligence ??.................................a widow !!!!!
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How does the driver of a gritting vehicle go to work in the morning ?
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One out of 4 marriages ends in a divorce, what do the other marriages end in ?
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The black box of the plane is indestructible, why do they not make the plane of the same material ?
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When swimming is good for the development of our arms and legs, why do fish not have arms and legs ?
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When you are not supposed to drive a car when you have been drinking, why do bars have a parking lot ?
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When a store is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year, why is there a lock on the door ?
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Why do the number of traffic accidents with stupid blond girls increase at April 1st? ..... When the traffic light is read they think it is a joke
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What do you do when your mother-in-law is walking in the garden? ...... Shoot again.
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Why the trolleys were invented ? ........ To learn women to walk on their hind legs.
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What is ressemblance between a man and a dolphin? They both seem intelligent, but it has not been proven yet!!!
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It is white and it stands in the corner? ....... A punished fridge
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How does a dummy catch a rabbit? ... He sits behind a tree and imitates the sound of a carrot.
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What is the difference between a battery and a woman? ...... A battery has also a positive side.
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What is the difference between a washing machine and a teacher? a washing machine runs on batteries and a teacher gets on the nerves.
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